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23 September 2026
The end of a marriage can be distressing for everybody involved, it is often the case that one of the most emotionally charged questions is: who will our child live with?
Understanding your child’s wishes when child arrangements are underway is imperative to keeping them happy and feeling supported.
It is also the key consideration of any court, which will always place their best interests first.
However, parents who are managing child arrangements need to understand when their child’s wishes come into play when deciding who they will live with.
Once a child has reached the age of 16, they are free to make their own decision as to which parent they would like to live with.
However, for children under the age of 16, in England and Wales, family law determines that decisions about a child’s living arrangements depends on what is in their best interests.
For younger children, their views may be considered but are unlikely to determine the outcome on their own. As children get older and demonstrate a greater level of maturity, their wishes are often given more weight.
This does not mean that your child’s wishes will be paramount in the decision that the court makes, as this will be considered alongside their age and maturity.
Under the Children Act 1989, courts will apply a welfare checklist to determine what is in the child’s best interests. This includes:
A child’s wishes can carry significant weight in court, but there is no set age at which their views become decisive.
Instead, the court will consider the child’s age, maturity and understanding of the situation when deciding how much importance to attach to their wishes.
It is important to remember that the court’s primary concern is always the child’s welfare.
Even where a child expresses a clear preference to live with one parent, the court may decide that an alternative arrangement is in their best interests if there are concerns about their wellbeing, safety or long-term welfare.
At the outset of an Application the court will ask the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) to become involved.
A CAFCASS officer usually speaks with the child and provide the court with an independent assessment of their wishes and feelings, as well as recommendations regarding the arrangements that would best support the child’s welfare.
We understand that child arrangements are often a difficult time for parents and that everybody involved just wants the best for their child.
At Mander Hadley, our friendly team of family law experts can offer guidance and support with the best interests of your child at heart.
We can assist you through the child arrangement process when you are coming to a decision about who the child will live with.
For support with child arrangements, get in touch with our team!
