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Whilst Christmas can be the most wonderful time of the year, it can also be a challenging time for separated families.
Deciding how your child will spend time with each parent during the festive season can be difficult, especially if communication is strained or agreements cannot be reached.
However, with clear planning and communication, it is possible to find a solution that works for the child and allows both parents to enjoy quality time over the holidays.
Leaving the arrangements till the last minute can cause tension, so it is important to start the conversation in advance to allow time for compromise and create a plan.
The conversation should focus on what would make the child happiest and prioritising their wellbeing.
If the child is old enough to express their preferences, it may be beneficial to include them in the conversation to make them feel valued and heard.
Some common schedules include:
While it is natural to want to spend as much time as possible with your child, it is important to be practical with your plans.
If you live far apart from your co-parent, then splitting Christmas Day in half may be too stressful for the child and travel may take up too much of the day.
Christmas is a hectic time and schedules may not always go to plan, so being flexible around any unexpected events can help the holiday go as smoothly as possible.
Showing cooperation around your child can help relieve stress, especially if this is your first Christmas as a separated family.
If direct communication between both parents is difficult, details can be confirmed over texts, emails or other messaging platforms.
Once an agreement is reached, documenting the plans in writing can help avoid any misunderstanding or conflict closer to the time.
With no fixed legal rules in place, agreeing on plans can be difficult, especially when an agreement cannot be reached.
If this occurs, then there are options you can take to help resolve disputes, such as mediation, where a third party can help parents reach a fair agreement.
Where legal advice is required, seeking a solicitor can help you negotiate a clear agreement on your behalf.
If all approaches are still unsuccessful, then a court order may be necessary to set out when each parent has their child.
In a court order, legal professionals will consider the child’s age, needs, wishes if old enough to express and how each parent can meet their child’s needs.
However, this is a costly and time-consuming process and all possible steps should be taken to avoid this.
The main goal when creating a Christmas plan is to maintain the joy of the holidays and offer as much normality during this time.
Christmas can be a financially and emotionally stressful time as a parent, but including extended family in your support and plans can help ease the stress and reduce the number of separate celebrations for your child.
Although it may be difficult to let go of old Christmas familiarities, creating new traditions can still offer excitement and a chance to make the holidays your own.
Our team can help you be proactive with your planning and encourage communication with your co-parent, which can be reflected on for further holidays.
If you are struggling to reach an agreement, our Family Law experts can offer advice on a practical approach that works for your family.
Director – Head of Family Department
I qualified as a Solicitor in 2006 and now specialise in divorce, financial settlements, childcare arrangements and Pre Nuptial Agreements. I have many years’ experience as a private family lawyer having worked with two other local firms before returning to Mander Hadley, where I first undertook work experience during my university studies.
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