Do my ex-partner and I need child arrangements if we weren’t married?

28 August 2026

In the UK in 2021, more than 51 per cent of babies were born to parents out of marriage. This is the highest number that has been seen since records began in 1895.

This does bring an important question forward: what happens with child arrangements if my ex-partner and I weren’t married?

Who has the rights to the children?

Typically, if parents are married, they tend to have equal rights to the children should the marriage come to an end.

However, if parents aren’t married, then the birthing parent tends to get automatic rights and responsibilities to the children unless the other parent:

• Is named on the birth certificate.
• Has signed a Parental Responsibility agreement registered with the court.
• Has been granted Parental Responsibilities by the court.

Typically, it is beneficial for the child to have contact with both of their parents, unless there are reasons why they shouldn’t, such as abuse or drug use.

Should we go to court for child arrangements?

Parents do not always have to go to court to settle child arrangements, but this does not mean that informal agreements are the best option.

If you and your ex-partner can communicate and are willing to work together, a solicitor can help you reach an agreement without court involvement. Each parent can obtain independent legal advice to ensure they understand their rights and responsibilities, while negotiations can take place through solicitors on their behalf.

This approach can be particularly useful when communication has broken down or when there are disagreements about where a child should live, how much time they should spend with each parent or other important decisions regarding their upbringing.

By seeking legal advice early, parents may be able to agree on arrangements that provide stability for their children while avoiding the stress, time and expense that court proceedings can bring.

If an agreement cannot be reached, a solicitor can advise on the next steps and, where necessary, assist with an application to the family court.

What happens if we need to go to court?

If you and your ex-partner are unable to agree on child arrangements, even with legal advice, it may be necessary to apply to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order.

Before making an application, parents are generally expected to consider other ways of resolving disputes.

However, there are exceptions, particularly in cases involving domestic abuse or concerns about a child’s safety.

Once an application has been made, the court will review the circumstances of the case and consider what arrangements are in the child’s best interests. This may include deciding where the child will live, how much time they will spend with each parent and how they will maintain relationships with other family members.

The court’s primary concern is the welfare of the child. Rather than focusing on the wishes of either parent, decisions are made based on what will best support the child’s wellbeing, stability and development.

Court proceedings can take time and may be emotionally challenging for everyone involved.

For this reason, many parents try to reach an agreement with the support of their solicitors before asking the court to intervene. However, court action can provide a clear and legally binding outcome when an agreement cannot be reached independently.

How can we help?

Agreeing child arrangements can be tough on both parents and their children.

Our team will always approach matters with your child’s best interests at heart, ensuring that any arrangements made will benefit them emotionally and socially.

Whether you are trying to decide who the child should live with, sort out contact arrangements or obtain parental responsibility, we are here to support you every step of the way.

For support with child arrangements, get in touch with our compassionate team.