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Negotiating child contact arrangements over Christmas

Despite the bright lights, decorations and festivity, Christmas can be a challenging time for families with separated parents.

In particular, deciding where your child will spend the Christmas period can be difficult, and you may need some support in coming to an agreement.

Our Head of Family, Stuart Daniel, is here to take you through how to negotiate these arrangements and achieve what is best for your child and your family.

Deciding between yourselves

An agreement between parents is usually the best way forward when deciding where your child will spend Christmas.

This can take any form you like, with common arrangements including:

Alternating Christmas Day each year
Each parent spending either Christmas or New Year’s Day with the child
Splitting important days down the middle

Some parents choose to have the child with the same parent each year, with the other caring for the child at another significant point, such as the summer holidays.

The important thing when deciding between yourselves is to engage in open, transparent and honest discussion, consider the child’s thoughts where possible and abide by any agreement you put in place.

However, we understand that this is not always possible, and you may need to seek support to come to a satisfactory outcome.

What if we cannot reach a decision?

Child arrangements at Christmas can be a highly emotional discussion, which can create barriers to a mutually acceptable outcome.

It may be the case that you need some support in reaching an agreement, usually in the form of mediation or, in extreme cases, with the family courts where an order can be made.

Mediation is generally the preferred method of family dispute resolution, as it focuses on constructive discussion and maintaining relationships.

It also helps to avoid congestion in the family courts, where settling a dispute can be more time-consuming and costly than attending mediation.

You can attend private mediation or access it through the family courts.

If you file with the family courts, you will be asked to attend a compulsory Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) unless certain exemptions apply.

The family courts are unlikely to prioritise disputes over Christmas arrangements, so you should consider trying to reach an agreement between yourselves before asking the courts to decide.

For support with child arrangements at Christmas, please contact our Family Law team.

Stuart Daniel

Director – Head of Family Department

I qualified as a Solicitor in 2006 and now specialise in divorce, financial settlements, childcare arrangements and Pre Nuptial Agreements. I have many years’ experience as a private family lawyer having worked with two other local firms before returning to Mander Hadley, where I first undertook work experience during my university studies.