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Parental alienation – Narcissistic ex-partners and child arrangements

Parental alienation involves one parent manipulating a child’s feelings towards the other parent, often resulting in the child’s reluctance or refusal to engage with the alienated parent.

This behaviour can be particularly evident in cases involving narcissistic personalities, where one parent uses psychological manipulation as a control strategy.

Characteristics of narcissistic manipulation in parental alienation

Narcissists are known for their tendencies to use emotional manipulation to gain control and maintain power.

In the context of parental alienation, a narcissistic ex may employ tactics, such as:

Spreading falsehoods or exaggerating negative aspects about the other parent.
Using the child as a messenger or spy in the ongoing conflict.
Creating scenarios that paint themselves as the sole victim, thereby gaining the child’s sympathy and aligning the child against the other parent.

These actions not only damage the relationship between the child and the other parent but also can have long-lasting emotional impacts on the child.

Overview of the Family Justice Council guidance

In December 2024, the Family Justice Council issued new guidelines aimed at addressing the complex dynamics surrounding allegations of parental alienation, especially important in cases involving narcissistic abuse.

These guidelines assist courts in differentiating between genuine concerns and manipulations masked as grievances.

Evidence-based assessment

Courts are urged to base their decisions on solid evidence, scrutinising the context and the specific behaviours attributed to alienation.

Distinction from domestic abuse

The guidelines caution against using parental alienation claims to counteract allegations of domestic abuse, ensuring that legitimate abuse claims are not undermined.

Child’s best interests

Decisions must focus on the welfare of the child, considering their sentiments and psychological evaluations to understand their genuine feelings toward each parent.

Implications of Family Justice Council guidance in cases involving narcissism

The guidance is important when providing a structured approach to handling cases where a narcissistic parent might use allegations of alienation as a strategy during custody battles.

It clarifies how such allegations should be treated, ensuring that the child’s voice is central to the proceedings and not overshadowed by a parent’s manipulative tactics.

Despite the guidance, handling these situations can be incredibly challenging.

It is therefore advisable for those affected to consult with our family law specialists who are knowledgeable about both parental alienation and narcissistic behaviours to ensure that their rights and the best interests of the child are safeguarded.

For expert advice and help when dealing with a narcissistic ex, either in situations of divorce or when children are involved, contact us today.

Stuart Daniel

Director – Head of Family Department

I qualified as a Solicitor in 2006 and now specialise in divorce, financial settlements, childcare arrangements and Pre Nuptial Agreements. I have many years’ experience as a private family lawyer having worked with two other local firms before returning to Mander Hadley, where I first undertook work experience during my university studies.