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How to manage disputes over child contact arrangements

When a couple separate, there can sometimes be disputes over where the child will live or how much contact they should have with the other parent.

It can be highly distressing when your ex-partner prevents you from seeing your child. Not only will you feel the impact of a strained relationship, but your child is likely to as well.

Thankfully, there are a range of practical steps you can take to reestablish contact with your child.

Communicate first

Trying to communicate with your ex-partner about child arrangements is the first step – and you don’t have to do it alone.

A simple letter from a family solicitor can break the ice and set out your wishes to maintain contact with your children. Your solicitor can also advise you on your rights and the appropriateness of any conditions on the contact and initiate negotiations for change.

Alternatively, a mediator can provide a neutral setting for discussion with the parents and could be an opportunity to review the arrangements for seeing your child and overcome any obstacles.

You must attempt mediation prior to initiating court proceedings unless mediation wouldn’t be appropriate in those circumstances, for example domestic abuse.

Court application

If direct communication and mediation do not work, you may need to consider making a court application for a Child Arrangements Order.

A Child Arrangements Order is a court order that sets out who is responsible for the care of a child.

Anyone with Parental Responsibility can apply for a Child Arrangement Order. If you don’t have Parental Responsibility of the child, you’ll need to request permission from the court to make a separate application for Parental Responsibility.

When considering who the child should live with or how the child’s time shall be spent between the parents, the court will consider what is in the child’s best interest – and it is generally assumed that maintaining contact with both parents is in the child’s best interest, unless there are clear reasons otherwise.

A CAFCASS officer or Social Worker will consider the application and speak with the family in order to prepare reports and provide recommendations to the court.

The court will consider the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child, if they are mature enough, and what effect any change in circumstances may have on the child’s wellbeing. The court will consider all of the circumstances of the individual case.

There may be a number of court hearings the parents will be expected to attend to progress the matter towards a final Child Arrangements Order.

A final Child Arrangements Order should set out the following:

With whom the child shall live.
How often the child should have contact with the other parent.
How and where this contact will take place.

A Child Arrangements Order can also set out other types of contact, such as phone calls, video calls, emails, and letters.

The Order will stay in place until the child is 16.

Most Orders include terms for the parents to agree to changes to the arrangements by agreement.

However, these are usually one-off arrangements; if you wish to make significant changes, then you may need to apply to the court to vary the Order.

What if my ex still won’t let me see my child?

The Child Arrangements Order is legally binding, and if a parent breaches it, they will be in contempt of court.

So, if you have a Child Arrangements Order in place and your ex-partner is still refusing to let you see your child, then you can file an application for an Enforcement Order.

A court can use an Enforcement Order to make your ex-partner comply with the terms of the Child Arrangements Order.

Your ex could also be required to pay a fine, provide compensation to you, or undertake unpaid community service.

Child arrangements support with Mander Hadley Solicitors

Parents are usually the best people to decide upon arrangements for their children, and we recommend that issues relating to child contact be agreed between parents.

Unfortunately, following the breakdown of a relationship, it is often difficult for parents to agree on what is best for their children.

If you are a parent and you are concerned about arrangements with your child, you should seek specialist legal advice from an experienced family solicitor.

Our family lawyers have a wealth of experience supporting parents with child arrangements after divorce or separation.

We’ll do everything we can to help you avoid going to court, including writing to your ex-partner or their solicitor on your behalf and referring you to an appropriate mediation service.

However, should court proceedings become necessary, we’ll be there to represent and support you every step of the way.

If your ex is preventing you from seeing your child, contact our family law team today for urgent advice and support.

Stuart Daniel

Director – Head of Family Department

I qualified as a Solicitor in 2006 and now specialise in divorce, financial settlements, childcare arrangements and Pre Nuptial Agreements. I have many years’ experience as a private family lawyer having worked with two other local firms before returning to Mander Hadley, where I first undertook work experience during my university studies.